Scones + jam + cream, please.
1. Claridge's
Claridge's has an actual tea connoisseur on board for their afternoon tea menu, so you know they take it seriously. It's worth noting this review, which adds that "the sandwiches arrive on that distinctive stripy china, and they keep on arriving until you stop asking for more."
Claridges
2. Sketch
Sketch
Sketch
Sip your tea and nibble your sandwiches in the sumptuous pink velvet booths of this Michelin-starred restaurant. If you're on a budget, their cream tea (fruit scones with jam, clotted cream, and a choice of teas) comes in at a very reasonable £10 per person.
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Sketch
Cinnamon
Cinnamon
High chai? Don't mind if we do. An Indian twist on afternoon tea, including bites like a Bangla scotch egg, and ginger and garam masala cake. It's also very affordable, starting at £20 for two people.
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4. Drink, Shop & Do
Flickr: 37996583811@N01 / Via Creative Commons
For a less formal afternoon tea, try DS&D's "Man's Afternoon Tea" consisting of "a pint of lager, three doorstop sandwiches & a savoury scone. Pickles, pork scratchings & a Yorkie bar".
By the way, they're also very good at catering to gluten-free diners.
Drink Shop & Do
Flickr: lastyearsgirl_ Creative Commons
Bea's of Bloomsbury
Bea's of Bloomsbury
An afternoon tea with *two* types of brownie? Yes please. For a more casual affair, you can also opt to have "sweet tea", which is afternoon tea without the sandwiches, with no reservation necessary.
Bea's of Bloomsbury
Bea's of Bloomsbury
6. The Ritz
The Ritz London
The Ritz London
There are few more glamourous options than afternoon tea at The Ritz. There's a piano player! Look at that clotted cream! Dreamy.
Flickr: walsh02 / Via Creative Commons
7. Fortnum and Mason
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A very swanky afternoon tea, right in the middle of Piccadilly. Choose from Afternoon Tea, High Tea, Savoury Afternoon Tea, and more. And those blue plates? So Instagrammable.
8. Betty Blythe Vintage Tearoom
Betty Blythe
Terribly sophisticated, this 1920s tea room is just too charming, and "all guests get to use the dressing up box of vintage accessories". You can even BYOB if you want, for only £2.90 per person extra.
Betty Blythe
Betty Blythe
9. The Berkeley
Pret-a-Portea is too cute to handle. Look! It's a dinky Moschino handbag! And of course there are sandwiches, and tea and all the rest, served on beautiful patterned china.
The Berkeley
The Berkeley
10. Bake-a-boo
Sure, they do a marvellous traditional afternoon tea, but what makes Bake-a-boo really stand out is their "sensitive" menus. There is a gluten- and dairy-free menu, a dairy-and-egg free menu, and a sugar-free menu. Wonderful!
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Chinese and Japanese teas, wakame seaweed brown bread, and slices of apple and mango chiffon cake. This isn't your average afternoon tea.
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12. The Delaunay
The Counter
The Counter
Sink in, and enjoy a Viennese afternoon tea. You can indulge in "assorted savouries, poppy seed Gugelhupfs with apricot jam and whipped cream, a selection of classic Viennese cakes". YUM.
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Original Maids of Honour
Flickr: su-lin Creative Commons
The first Maids of Honour shop was founded in the 18th century, so you can be sure that these guys know their scones. There are plenty of options to choose from, and all menus apart from the champagne cream tea come in at under £15.
Flickr: ayca13 / Via Creative Commons
14. The Orangery, Kensington Palace
Flickr: leksunin / Via Creative Commons
This is the only royal palace in London where you can have afternoon tea, and features items like "Orange-scented and currant scones served with Cornish clotted cream and English strawberry jam".
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15. Le Chandelier
Le Chandelier
Le Chandelier
With an impressive tea menu alone, Le Chandelier is perfect for a cosy bite with pals.
If you're looking for a more casual cup of tea and a cake, Franklin's is just around the corner, and splendid.
Le Chandelier
Le Chandelier
If you're searching for more options, AfternoonTea.co.uk is a great resource.